I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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