haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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