It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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