Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
and i looked up. we had an audience...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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