Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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