____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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