She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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