Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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