Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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