I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
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I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
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woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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