Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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