I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize