well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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