we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
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In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
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I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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