Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
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You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
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I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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