I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
someone owes me an orgasm
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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