Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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