how can u be prego again
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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