she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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