Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
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Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
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Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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