We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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