I wish my penis had an off switch
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize