There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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