I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
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Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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