what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize