There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
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all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
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How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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