Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize