these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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