well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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