Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize