I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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