I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize