i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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