I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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