The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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