you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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