..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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