After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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