They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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