So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
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"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
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Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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