i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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