matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She needs sedatives and a leash
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize