my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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