the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
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Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
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The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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