Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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