i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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