I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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