who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize