:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
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we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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