It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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